Sweet Sixteen J'aime

My baby girl is turning sixteen next week. Jaime is a special girl. I know everyone says that about their children, but Jaime truly is special. Since the day she was born I knew that something was different about her. Call it mothers intuition, but I knew that something was wrong. It would be 15 years later when test results would confirm my suspicians and answer years of questions. It all began in the hospital when the pediatrician announced that Jaime would need to wear a brace for the first 5-6 months of her life. She was born with hip dysplasia. Basically her hip was dislocated and she would need to wear a brace until her joints matured enought to keep the socket in place. Jaime was such a sweet baby. She slept through the night from day one. About the age of three I began to notice that Jaime wasn't meeting many of her milestones. She always seemed to be delayed in everything. As the months and days unfolded in her life, several other physical conditions presented themselves. I'll make a long story short by saying, two eye surgeries, bi-lateral hearing loss, floppy larynx, years of occupational and speech therapy, ASD heart surgery, mild retardation and one genetics test result later, we discover that Jaime is missing part of her chromosome 17. Its a teeny tiny part, but seemingly huge in the world of the human body. We didn't have Jaime tested until about a year ago. Most people would have had a genetics test much earlier with a child presenting so many issues. But, through divine providence, it was better for us to have waited. If we had tested her any earlier than a few years ago, we would not have been given the same results. Genetics testing has made great strides in the last few years with new technology. They do something now called DNA microarray, which basically means they can look deeper into the genes. Several years ago they would not have seen anything wrong with Jaime. Through the microarray, they were able to see deep into her genes and find the missing link. Though this may seem like good news, it really doesn't afford us much information. There are only three documented cases of this genetic deletion and all of them are adults. Jaime, as far as we know, is the only documented case at her age. Basically, this means that we don't have a lot of information to help her. It is trial and error. So you see, Jaime really is special in more ways than one. She is sweet, loving, kind, sensitive, and in most cases a very normal teenager. It has been a bumpy road to sweet sixteen. Many challenges along the way and the future is unclear. One thing is for sure, Jaime is a special gift from God to me. I've learned a lot about myself through Jaime. I've learned that life isn't perfect. I've learned that patience is truly a virtue. I've learned that love isn't always about what you receive but what you give. I named Jaime after the french word J'aime which means " I love." It fits her. Happy Sweet sixteen J'aime Laree Janecka!

This is tough

I must admit that I thought blogging would be easier. I'm so impressed by other bloggers. Many of the bloggers (including some of my family and friends) have very clear objectives when they blog. Others focus on whatever fancy thought enters their minds for the day. I have about six drafts waiting to be published. I can't seem to find the time to finish my thoughts and then translate them into an understandable message. I get frustrated and close down the process with great intentions to come back to it later. Perhaps this isn't for me. I don't know. I'm not even sure what compels me to do this. I have always been opinionated and I guess the purpose of a blog is to extol my views in an online format to an unseen audience that may only consist of one person (namely me.) Does that mean I need affirmation that my opinions are valid? Too Freudian....I'll leave that alone. I think I just need to post something so I feel like I'm not completely inept at blogging. So here it is. I'll post it now.

Marriage lessons in "Two Steps" or more

This year I decided that I wanted to do some things that I've been putting off for years. The beginning of each year I write out a "things to do" list for the year. I prefer not to call them resolutions. They are more like goals in my mind. Unfortunately life always seems to happen and my goal list turns into the typical resolution list. This year I made the decision to actually accomplish some goals and to place my obstacles and objections on the back burner. The top of my list included dance lessons. I didn't ask my husband, I just signed us up (I know what you're thinking, but this is not part of our marriage lessons today.) Something about paying for the lessons in advance has motivated us to actually show up. We had four lessons, one for each Saturday of February. I decided to sign us up for the Country and Western dance class I.

Lesson I:
We were late to our first class (next on the goal list "improve our ability to arrive on time.")
In the first lesson we learned the basic step. It goes like this; slow step, slow step, quick step, quick step or slow, slow, quick, quick. So this is why it is called "The Two Step." This actually seemed pretty easy. We felt confident. I equate the basic step to falling in love and getting married. That was easy too. The week after our first lesson we were excited and practiced a lot (again, falling in love and getting married..easy.) We put our best foot forward, careful not to "step on toes." The more we practiced the more comfortable we were with the basic step.
Lesson II:
We were late again (though only a few minutes this time.) The dance instructor focused our attention to the rules of dancing. I know this may come as a shock to those of you that define yourselves as progressive so feel free to ignore lesson II if it offends you. Not unlike marriage, dancing requires one leader and one follower. If two people are trying to lead, lots of toe stepping occurs. If two people are following, you don't go anywhere. It works best when the gentleman (notice I didn't just say "man") leads the woman. It works even better if the woman actually follows the man (trust me on this one, I have experience.) Now back to that word "gentleman." Men hear me on this one. If your shoulders are straight and strong and you hold her correctly and gently, you will lead her. Notice I didn't say, "if you get the footwork right." Yes, this is the secret in leading, shoulders straight, strong and gently guiding her where you want her to go. This is important because in lesson II we learned how to do turns (although I wanted to spin, but that is the Country and Western II class...I knew I was advanced.) So men, if you want to turn your lady, you need to lead her.
LESSON III:
Okay, I know its getting old but, we were running late. My husband reminds me of the time and we both start to rush to get ready. Of course, we kept getting in each others way. Then I remember that I still have to take our son to work before our class starts in thirty minutes. Naturally tensions are high, we got frustrated with each other. There was a fight. (Now we are talking real life marriage.) Ironically, we are headed to lesson III where we are learning the promenade and conversation. Hmmm, proof God has a sense of humor. So, I leave in a huff to take my son to work, not sure if my dear hubby is going to go to the class. I get there before him and call. I very pointedly say "so, are you coming?" To which he replies "I'm on my way." I have to say I was a little relieved. After all, we paid for the classes. We show up in separate cars neither of us "feeling" like dancing. Nevertheless, we walk in and learned the promenade and conversation. I could take this one in so many directions, but I believe the point is that sometimes in marriage, you just need to show up even if you don't feel like it.
LESSON IV:
We made it on time this week (I'm not making this up.) We had spent the day together with two of our kiddos. Nothing exciting, but it was a good day. The last dance lesson was icing on the cake. Interestingly, we were one of two couples that showed up for the last lesson. Basically, we received some private instruction. It was fun to rehearse our moves and just enjoy dancing together. As I thought about our last lesson it occured to me that over the last month the class had slowly dwindled down to two couples. Isn't that a paradox for marriage today. So few people really make it to the end. Its sad, because if they had just held on a little longer, they could have learned to dance. Okay, a little corney I admit. But marriage isn't. It can be tough sometimes. With each lesson you learn a little more. As you begin to learn new principles then you must put them into practice. Before you know it you are dancing. The key is that you learn something and then practice what you have learned. So go take some dance lessons and maybe we will see you in Country and Western II or maybe the Salsa (ooohh I wonder what marriage lessons I can get from that one...may not be suitable for younger audiences.)