New Life...out with the old...in with the new

This week has been interesting. I really wanted to have some deep introspection during holy week, but instead I found trouble hitting me from all sides. I must admit that I have felt very defeated and even a bit angry. I have found life to be very disappointing. I think that is exactly what the enemy doesn't want me to have, deep introspection, especially when the focus is on my saviour. At the same time, most of my disappointments have come from the choices I've made so I'm not sure if I am angry at anyone by myself. Have you ever tried to be angry at yourself? Trust me when I say its not very productive. So how does someone go in a different direction? If life has handed you lemons can you really make "lemonade?" I suppose that the only way to answer that is to look at yourself. I've had to. I've found myself in a miry, muddy pit and each step seems to take enormous effort. So change is in order. My motivation is almost non-existent but the converse to not being motivated is to stay in the pit. So I suppose my real motivation is the reality of where I am. Change is never easy. If it were, everyone would do it. This week has not brought me the enlightenment that I had expected. I wanted "wow" or "amazing" but instead I got a still small voice that said "go in this direction." So, go I will.....once again...its that obedience factor. It won't be easy but I will not do it in my own strength. Again, loss of control is never easy. We will see what happens....updates to follow. Happy Easter!